No interview I do again will ever be as interesting as my chat with Roxana Shirazi over cranberry juices at the Rainbow on the Sunset Strip in 2010. Born in Iran about 35 years earlier — she was oddly circumspect about her age — Roxana came to Britain in 1984, lost her virginity at 24, and made up for lost time by becoming a rock ‘n’ roll groupie while pursuing a masters degree.
Her memoir, The Last Living Slut: Born in Iran, Bred Backstage, detailed her lurid sexual encounters with Guns N’ Roses (second-tier members Dizzy Reed, Matt Sorum), Buckcherry, and a slew of young rock bands. But it wasn’t all fun and water sports. She aborted Dizzy Reed’s baby and suffered a breakdown.
I wrote a story for Reuters, but it got spiked (journalist-speak for, er, aborted). The book failed to get much media coverage at all. I think the problem was the title rather than the content, and that’s 100% the fault of the publishing house which wanted to be outrageous but should have been smarter. You just can’t sprinkle the word “slut” in mainstream print and broadcast media. It’s a shame because the book deserved a wider audience. It was probably ahead of its time, which makes now an excellent opportunity to pick it up.
I’m glad to see Roxana is still alive and well, even if she retains a weakness for dodgy Labour Party politicians in the UK. Here are some highlights. Even on my own web site, I just can’t bring myself to reproduce the whole thing. It’s too hot! You’ve been warned.
EVERY ROCK STAR IN YOUR BOOK SEEMS TO BE WELL-ENDOWED AND AN ATHLETE. IT MIGHT MAKE REGULAR GUYS FEEL VERY INSECURE.
You know what? I didn’t write about the ones who were bad in bed. I felt really bad. There was one guy, he was the ex-drummer of Skid Row, and he’s a sex addict, and he was awful . . . He tried too hard. I like a bit of kissing and cuddling and touch. He was, like, Drrrrrr! I was like, this is not turning me on. You’re not a porn star. That, to me, is considered bad sex, if one tries too hard.
BUT WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU WERE IN THE BUS WITH THE GUYS FROM BUCKCHERRY ALL TAKING TURNS IN THE BACK OF THE BUS — EXCEPT FOR JOSH (TODD)?
Josh, I slept with him first. Lead singers have to have first go. There’s a rule. And then, obviously after, the rest of the band. Not all of them were great. I was trying to push buttons always with rock bands. I was trying to see who can match me in terms of being really wild. I was trying to triumph over my nerdiness, if you like.
SO THE DRUMMER FROM SKID ROW WAS LOUSY, WHO ELSE? … YOU TALK ABOUT “THE REV” FROM AVENGED SEVENFOLD?
God, that was horrible because they drew swastikas on my body. They’re just clean-cut Huntington Beach boys who put on a very wild image, and I think they were scared. I love saying, “Do you do water sports?” And they were like, “I’m in Avenged Sevenfold. I’m gonna try it. A chick can’t tell me what to do.” I did it, but with them the experience was only to push buttons. It wasn’t to get off. That was one of the times that I would say I didn’t do it to get off. I was just doing it to see if I was wilder than them.
NOT TO POO-POO YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS, BUT IT SEEMS A LOT OF YOUR GUYS WERE B-LIST?
D-List, some of them!
WHY DIDN’T YOU HOOK UP WITH OASIS OR FOO FIGHTERS OR METALLICA?
Ewww! Because I don’t fancy them at all. Oasis? Puh-lease! First of all, I don’t fancy Englishmen, at all. I like my sleazy, ’80s, hair-metal guys. That was my type, always. I would never go and hang out with Coldplay. And Foo Fighters, I love their music, but I didn’t think they would be fun and sleazy and debauched. I always went in search of bands, famous or not famous, that I knew would show me a wild ride. I didn’t think, “This guy is famous, I must sleep with him.” I did meet a lot of famous movie stars, but I never wrote about them because they did nothing for me.
YOU’VE NEVER DONE THE MOVIE-STAR GROUPIE THING?
It’s never been about the fame thing for me, it’s about who can show me the best time. You can meet lots of famous people, but some of them might be really boring, and not at all interesting. When I went on tour with Def Leppard and Whitesnake, they were massive. They played huge arenas and I was backstage all the time, but there was nothing interesting to write about. It wasn’t like debauchery. It was like cups of tea and English biscuits every night. They were sitting around talking about really boring stuff.
WHO DID YOU HOOK UP WITH IN DEF LEPPARD?
I hooked up with one of the guys. I promised him I wouldn’t say his name! … Not Joe Elliott, who’s a bit chubby!
NOT THE GUY WITH ONE ARM?
No. I wanted to mother him. “I want to take care of you, you poor thing.” I hooked up also with one of the guys from Whitesnake. He was cool, but again it wasn’t like I have to write about this guy from Whitesnake because he’s in Whitesnake, because literally there’d be nothing really exciting to talk about. Same with Black Stone Cherry, the young Kentucky boys. They’re very beloved by teenage girls everywhere. They’re so cute and they say “ma’am,” and I corrupted them all.
YOU HAD TOMMY LEE, RIGHT?
We did stuff together. He was cool. He just liked his techno music, and it was a bit off-putting. He was very like a hyper-kid.
APART FROM AXL, WHO WERE SOME OF THE GUYS WHO GOT AWAY?
When I was on tour with Guns N’ Roses, I was in a weird place because I was so excited to be on tour with Guns N’ Roses and I wanted to met Axl. But at the same time I was falling in love with Dizzy. I met Axl, and then I was having sex with two girls in Sebastian Bach’s room, and (Axl came in, and) I was like, “I have to put my clothes on because he cannot see me naked. I have to be proper.” I would have loved to have happened with Axl, but at the same time something weird happened to me: “Oh my god, I’m in love. I really don’t want anyone to touch me. I want the one guy.” I didn’t even think I would feel that way, at all. I thought I’d be very wild and crazy and be like, I wanna fuck everybody. If the situation had come up and Axl was like, “Come with me to my hotel room,” I definitely would have. But I felt weird about it. I remember seeing him in a club and he was alone with a couple of chicks, and I could have hung out with him. But I just wanted to find Dizzy. That was when I first realized, “Wow! I’m quite a soft romantic at heart, really!” Love is a dirty word in rock ‘n’ roll. It’s a four-letter word. Maybe I’m too sweet for rock ‘n’ roll. I don’t know!
WHY DIZZY, OF ALL PEOPLE?
Like everybody, I was like, “I wanna fuck famous rock stars.” But honestly I would meet them, and some of them I had no sexual attraction to, which shows that it’s not the fame thing, really — for me, anyway. I met Izzy Stradlin. I met Stephen Adler. Nothing. I met Slash. Nice guy, very talented, cool. He always had his wife with him, constantly stuck to him . . . She’s really loud and brash. I was really scared of her! … But Dizzy! I don’t know what it was. He’s very sexual, he was very nurturing to me. I felt so safe with him. I felt so good with him. He really was into me, and he was very sexual. He was very sweet as well. I just really liked that about him. It just turns out that he wasn’t the most famous. What can you do?
WAS IT DIFFICULT WRITING THE WHOLE DIZZY EPISODE?
Umm, yeah. It wasn’t very pleasant. I didn’t like writing it. I couldn’t wait for it to be over. It was very hurtful to me to write all that, especially the abortion part, because it’s one of my biggest regrets in life, and I wish I hadn’t done it.
BUT THE REALITY OF KEEPING THE BABY WOULD HAVE BEEN PRETTY DIFFICULT
Yeah. Logically, obviously he had four kids by three different women, and he got my friend pregnant too. So I knew he wouldn’t make a very stable father figure. But looking back I wish I hadn’t been so logical. I wish I had just gone with my gut instinct, in a way. There are single mothers everywhere and they cope. I know it would have been difficult, but I wish I’d gone with my emotions rather than my head.
IN AN IDEAL SITUATION WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HOOK UP WITH?
Rage Against the Machine. I love them because they’re so political. I just like the energy. I want to meet rock stars who are a bit intellectual. I’m a bit bored with ones who are a bit airheaded. I’d like to meet Steven Tyler as well, because he seems quite crazy, and cool. Keith Richards … I am really in a different place than I was when I finished that book, because then I was just in search of my next high, like a drug. Like who’s the next rock star I’m gonna fuck? But it was like an empty high. It was like eating McDonald’s all the time. I want a bit of substance, so I’d love to meet a rock star I can get off on intellectually as well as down there. I think it would really be amazing.
IT SEEMS TO ME THAT MATT SORUM IS THE GOLD-MEDAL ATHLETE IN BED?
I love him.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT HE WAS GAY
I know. He’s got a techno look, hasn’t he? Blond hair, very clean cut. He smelled too good. I was like, “Can he not take a shower please?” I like them all dirty, and whatever. He was really cool, Matt. Actually, he called me about a couple of months ago, and I was in London, and he was like, “Can you come over to my place?” I was like, “I’m in London.” He was like, “Yeah, but I want you to come (to L.A.).” Obviously I must have made a good impression on him. He’s just awesome. I like him because he is very open and wild about his sexuality. And thankfully, I never fell in love with him because there was never any emotions. It was just fun, and that’s it.
TALK ABOUT GROUPIE ETIQUETTE. THE SINGER GETS FIRST DIBS, AND THEN IS THERE AN ORDER? GUITARIST, BASS PLAYER, AND THE DRUMMER AT THE END?
Usually the guitarist is second. You go and see a band, and then if they all like you, the lead singer has to have first go. I was with a Canadian band once and they all came to me, and they were like, “Which one of us do you want to pick?” I was surprised by that, because I thought they’d pick me. But sometimes that’s cool when that happens. But if you’re not attracted to the lead singer, then obviously I wouldn’t do anything I never wanted to do . . . I was always like, “What can you do for me? How are you going to make me happy? Are you going to give me pleasure? I had to fancy them as well.
WHO WAS THE CANADIAN BAND? RUSH?
No, no, no, no! Oh god, aren’t they a bit old?! Blimey! They’re really old! They were called Crystal Pistol, and they were just insane, and I had a great time with them. There’s a lot of etiquette and rules to stick by. You have to do those things.
DID ERIC (STACY) FROM FASTER PUSSYCAT REALLY CRY?
He did. I had to hold his hand. He was like, “Please, I love you, you’re hot. But I love my wife.” I was like, “I won’t touch you. I won’t try and suck your dick. Don’t worry. Just go and get something to eat and I’ll look after you.” I had to be the mommy.
WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO CORRUPT SOMEONE LIKE JUSTIN BIEBER?
I would love to. [NOTE: Bieber was about 16 at the time.] I so want to just eat him up, man. So cute. And Kings of Leon, I really like too. But I’ve heard a lot of nasty, dirty things about them. I think they’ve been there and done it. I’ve heard from a lot of other girls of things that went on, on the road with them.
ZAC EFRON?
No, he’s a bit old [22 at the time]. It’s kind of either very young, or old. I kinda like the whole bad-boy thing. I love Russell Crowe. Is there any girl that doesn’t like Russell Crowe in Gladiator? . . . God, the alpha-male thing I like. Not many American men are like that. Australian men or New Zealanders are more raw and alpha male. I loved Michael Hutchence. Americans are a bit more into putting on their moisturizer … I find Brad Pitt so ugly, George Clooney icky, gross. I like the dirty, like Colin Farrell, Russell Crowe. Russell Brand, although he’s English. The English accent would put me off a bit. If the Rat Pack were still alive, I would.
WHAT ABOUT THOSE GUYS ON ENTOURAGE?
Ewww, no.
WHAT ABOUT CHARLIE SHEEN? HE IS BAD
Jesus. Too Hollywood pretty boy, you know? It’s just a random thing, I guess … It’s like Dave Navarro. I think he just likes to look in the mirror, and look at himself and he gets off that way.
THAT GUY IS SO PRETTY!
He probably sits there, puts moisturizer and oil on his body going, “You’re so hot!”
WHAT ABOUT PERRY FARRELL?
Gay!
NOTE: Unrelated to the above interview, my gossipy rock bio Strange Days: The Adventures of a Grumpy Rock ‘n’ Roll Journalist in Los Angeles is available here
Copyright © 2014 by Dean Goodman. PLEASE DO NOT CUT AND PASTE THE WHOLE THING